As always, thanks for everyone's submissions! Hopefully these will bring some smiles to your faces.
Our Winner If wine is Jesus's blood and bread is Jesus's body, then the food at Benson must be Jesus's ingrown toenail. -- Sam Smith Honorable mentions My friend, who's a double major in CS and music, has his birthday coming up, so I asked him what he wanted. Unhelpfully, he said "a new keyboard". -- Bryce Klassen As the remaining waking breaths left his body, the Alzheimer's patient Dewey Needham was finally able to recognize the loving faces of his dear friends and family who were standing right beside him. With the EKG monitor beeping faster and faster, Mr. Needham realized he had one remaining breath, so he let out a final spine piercing, blood-curling scream, as he was suddenly hit with the horror that his family would soon discover his uncleared browser history. -- Liam Llerena |